What Is the Point of a Therapy Consultation?
A free consultation has become standard practice for therapists, and personally, I think it’s a great change. Therapy is a significant financial and time investment. While some folks may have limited benefits, especially when working with things like relational trauma or grief, more sessions are often needed than what medical plans typically cover. Starting this kind of journey requires a commitment to healing.
Unlike other healthcare services, therapy depends heavily on the rapport between the therapist and the patient (the person receiving care). For mental and emotional change to occur, the therapy space must feel "safe enough"—meaning within the client’s window of tolerance. This is the level of activation where a person can experience change without becoming dysregulated. Therapy won’t always feel comfortable, but you should feel safe enough to express when you’re not okay, need help, or feel overwhelmed. It’s also important that your therapist notices if you’re approaching panic or dissociation.
All these factors make it essential to be thoughtful about whom you choose to work with. I would recommend scheduling consultations with at least a couple of folks and comparing how you feel both during and after each conversation.
A consultation is not meant to be therapy, and you’re under no obligation to share personal details. In fact, I often encourage folks to only share what feels comfortable and to avoid specifics. They don’t know me yet, and it doesn’t usually feel good to share intimate details with someone you may never see again.
What I Ask and Why
Every therapist does their consultations a bit differently. My goal in mine is for folks to get a sense of how I will show up in the therapy space. Here are a few of the things I discuss:
I like to know about their past experiences with therapy in general terms—whether they were positive or negative, and what worked or didn’t. This helps me gauge their comfort level with mental health language and lets me know how much explanation might be needed when we try new things.
I also like to assess whether my style and training align with what they’re looking for. If they seem to want something I don’t specialize in, I’ll clarify what I offer and work to connect them with someone better suited to their needs.
Additionally, I ask about their goals and what they hope to see change. Everyone comes to therapy for different reasons. Knowing what’s urgent for them helps me set realistic expectations around timelines and describe how I might support them in reaching that goal.
At this stage, I try to avoid getting too much background information or personal details. Those things should come once we’ve built a relationship that feels safe. enough I want folks to feel they have a choice in what they share and that it's relevant to the work we're doing at the moment.
The Kinds of Questions I Appreciate
I appreciate it when people ask about my approach and training. In fact, if they don’t, I usually share this information anyway. I work within a specific framework, holding a systemic lens, and often discuss the interpersonal and societal impacts of systemic oppression, including how that dynamic might appear between us. It’s important for someone to know this so they can make an informed decision about working together.
I am not skilled at every style of therapy, and there are some modalities that I actually don’t like or would not be good at (hello CBT!). If this is what someone is looking for, it would be unfair of me to move forward with them knowing they will be disappointed.
Why Are Consultations Important to Learn to Do Well?
No one likes to feel like they’re "selling" themselves, and many therapists aren’t trained in effective consultations. However, the most important thing is for our personalities to come through so people can make an informed decision about whether it feels right to work together.
As therapists, it’s important to accept that we won’t be the best fit for everyone—and that’s okay. If consultations make you nervous or anxious, the best parts of your personality might not shine through. Just as we had to practice to become skilled therapists, consultations are a skill that can be developed.
If you notice a large number of folks who contact you disappearing after a consultation, ask a supervisor, or colleague who is skilled in this area to support you with some training or practice. Choose the medium that feels the most comfortable for you! If you prefer to see folks' faces when speaking to them, schedule the consultation in Jane, or whatever platform you use, to access a secure video link. If going for a walk or being in nature would help you feel less nervous, schedule them as a phone call. Set yourself up as best you can to feel confident.
If you’d like support with your skills around therapy consultations, please reach out! I love supporting and encouraging new therapists. You can fill out the contact form on our website or reach me at info@thecommonswellness.ca.