How to Make the Most Out of Online Therapy
A lot of people wonder what they should be doing between therapy sessions. It’s as if they’re hoping for some secret formula that will guarantee therapy success or make the process easier. In reality, there is no such formula, and the short answer to this question is: do whatever you want! Good therapy isn’t about being a perfectly studious and compliant client or patient. That said, if you are committed to seeing change and growth, therapy can’t be the only thing you do.
As a therapist, I am hesitant to prescribe what works for me because there is no guarantee that will also work for you. I had to figure out what resonated with me to support change between sessions, just as you will have to do that work for yourself. The list below includes common strategies that may or may not work for you. Try different things, and see how it leaves you feeling. The most important thing is just to do something to create an opportunity to integrate all that hard work you’re doing in sessions into your everyday life experience.
Some ways to help yourself with this include:
1) Journaling
I used to hate journaling, so if you read this with your eyes rolling, I hear you! What changed my mind is learning about morning pages. It is basically a daily practice of just brain dumping everything cluttering your mind in a stream of consciousness style onto a piece of paper and forgetting about it. It has been invaluable in helping me work through areas where I feel stuck, highlighting places where I need to make change and allowing me to live more in the present. There are many other ways of journaling, but basically the takeaway here is find what works for you, there is no right or wrong day to do this.
2) Time for reflection
Create a system for yourself to note down significant moments between therapy sessions where emotions surface or when you have a confusing response. For example, maybe you feel way angrier than you think you should and you don’t know why. These are great instances to bring into therapy and explore with someone you feel safe enough to unpack your feelings with. Chances are there is something lurking beneath the surface that will help everything make sense. Even something as simple as having a note on your phone to keep a list of reminders for things you might want to talk about can help make sure nothing important gets forgotten.
3) Do what you can to take care of yourself
This includes getting good (enough) sleep, eating well, moving your body, having awareness around what you’re using for coping and why and when you are drawn to those strategies. If you are coming into session exhausted or already dysregulated, then the majority of your work will be around stabilizing yourself, which is necessary and also really important, but less linked to creating change.
4) Process what is happening in therapy with trusted friends and loved ones.
If you have folks in your life whom you feel safe enough to talk about vulnerable topics with, share big realizations or new understandings you’ve gained. This will help strengthen the new neural networks in your brain and make those new experiences and connections more easily accessible when you need them and is an important part of integrating change into our sense of self.
5) Physical Activity
Moving your body helps process and release emotions and stress. The best way to do this is through unstructured movement—think dancing around your apartment rather than taking an exercise class. In the latter, you’re focused on doing the movements "correctly," while in the former, you’re just letting go and doing what feels good.
6) Spend time in nature
Nature has many properties that help us feel more grounded and relaxed. Even lying out in the sun, or sitting on a bench near the water for a few minutes can help activate our parasympathetic nervous system and increase our sense of calmness.
If you are struggling to make the most of the time between sessions, talk to your therapist. Together, you can figure out a plan that makes the most sense for you and adjust as needed. If what you try first doesn’t work, don’t beat yourself up—just try something else. (Easier said than done I know). And if you are having a hard time accessing compassion for yourself in this process, this might even be something to explore further, as often there are judgments of ourselves we internalize that can block us from feeling the true emotion of our experience.
At the Commons Wellness Collective, we are honoured to be part of your journey with you and would love to help you explore how to make the most of your therapy experience. Reach out anytime! We would love to connect with you.